So I've been in California now for three years. I've expanded my mind and grown in so many ways, but I still feel I don't connect with most of the people here. Growing up I had so many close friends and such a tight knit group that it's hard for me to open up to outsiders and let my guard down. My one regret after three years of living in party central is that I didn't let my guard down enough. i still had a great time here but I guess I missed too many opportunities because of my thickheadedness. I wish I could throw down my guard and just feel free once again like the days of Sinter. So now I'm at a crossroads, I either continue my education to grad school out here in Cali somewhere, probably sacramento, or I start looking for a job somewhere. I feel lost right now, and I'm sick of trying to decide. I need to find someone or something to take my mind off of these things for a while. I'm trying to get back into my artwork and music. I've been recording for the last week or so and almost have a new song put together. I really want to get back to being myself again because anymore I feel like I'm outside of everyone's social group.

There's so much of myself I'd like to share and show to her. Just have to find " her ".